The NBA lottery is an event shrouded in deceit and lies. The balls should be dropped and pulled on live TV. Then wiped for finger prints, cavity search the commissioner, give some inoculations, whatever they have to do to make it truthful just do it in real time, none of this open the final envelope garbage it isn’t American Idol. It feels incredibly classless. However while I am a biased fan 95% of the time and think a lot of these bottom of the barrel franchises don’t deserve to have the talents that grace the draft, I was fine with the Spurs getting the number one pick this year. I think Adam Silver was too, not that he didn’t already have this plan drawn up. The writing was on the wall all season that this kid was going to the Spurs. Just take a look at the shit show that goes on with these other teams. I promise the narrative that the league wants this kid to have wont add up anywhere else, at least to start his career. Then like year 5-6 he’ll end up on the Lakers or some shit.

The Hornets have the #2 pick. Theres too much to unpack with this disaster of a franchise. Alleged domestic abuse, felony levels of drugs, MJ trying to abandon ship, and Lavar Ball lurking in the rafters like a lone town creep at a girls highschool volleyball game. Yes the idea of Lamelo and Wemby is a great idea but will it keep Adam Silver awake at night, absolutely.

The Blazers have the #3 pick. Arguably the team that carries the least amount of baggage out of the others. As of now theyre a directionless team. They say they want to compete because they have Dame, but the support isnt there. So by that the league deems them unworthy to get the rights to #1. Also theres no guarantee that the lunatics of Portland wont siege the arena because a pronoun was misused at hot dog concession stand.

The Rockets have the #4 pick. Like I said I am biased so fuck this team. I respect the history it holds with Hakeem, Clyde, Barkley, TMac, Yao, and Harden. Sure the offseason could be the answer for them to get back on track. Plus Udoka is a solid coach when hes not shifting his coworkers guts. All of that to go with a young talented group of guys is something to be on the watch for. But when they step on an actual court it’s like watching an AAU team that was tossed together for a weekend tournament play. Feels like a lack of chemistry, but who gives a shit. Houston has had the #2 pick in 2021, #3 pick in 2022, and now the #4 pick in 2023. Its clear mein furher Silver wasn’t about to give into this nonsense in Houston and dealed them a lower hand. For that I give the tip of the cap to the commissioner. Also video of Wembanyama surfaced as well showing a rather happy emotion to the Rockets being given the 4th pick. So even in the end despite the rigging it was still fuck Houston.

The Pistons got shafted so hard and received the #5 pick. Worst record in the league, a 14% chance to land the #1 pick and a swift cock shot was landed by the shadow fist of the league giving them the 5th pick. I feel bad for them but I get why in a way it happened. No Cade the whole year. Cade is the game changer Detroit needs, and they have him. They have their guy, who is all for being a Piston for now. A healthy him can easily change this team by 15-20 wins. Sure best ability is availability but hes a do it all guard when hes on the floor. Ivey and Duren were great picks in the draft from last year too. They have most of their pieces needed, a solid pick this year is all they need. Well time is the biggest factor too, but I don’t think they’ll need too much of it with how mature Cade is at controlling the game for his team. Now they’re looking at the 5th pick, it’s still a win in this draft. Go get one of the Thompson twins and be happy, they’re freak athletes with absurd two-way upside. Would Wembanyama be crazy on this team, absolutely. But Adam Silver can’t have his new face of the league fighting for his life in Detroit.

Overall agree or disagree with the splintered rant, the league is going do whatever they want when they want. They’re playing chess while the rest of the fans and media are playing checkers with no idea what the rules are. Wembanyama is 99% most likely going to be a Spur. Whether you like it or not he is going to restore order in San Antonio and in the West. He is a god damn special talent so just for the love of god appreciate it. Unless of course he doesn’t pan out, and in that case feel free to speak your mind through a screen an keyboard like a decent human.